Reflections, the past, unresolved, not the same

Everything inside me is a knife or an edge or the edge of a knife and 
none of it is safe inside me.
I try to remove it to no avail. Screaming inside battered pieces. 
But I never understand.
It's dead.
I killed It.
That part of my life never existed. I shed no tears. 
I learned to never show pain. I wiped it from my memory.
Why does the ache kneel in distress so. Why does it open its gaping eyes.
It has no lashes. I can feel it and it never did have protection against
that day funneled deep inside unreality. 
You should haunt someone else because I have no haunts and no pain.
I survive with memory gone. 
I took the memory and put a weight against it and drowned it forever.
Why does it raise its arms up against the storm
 and pierce me with its hold.

You stupid girl, let go of me.
I never cared for you and your love that stung like salt water.
And now those tears, they are mine I captured them and you never get them back.
I took your ability to call for help and with it your need to cry.
I am you but you are no longer yourself.
Just get it over with, you weren't worth anything but my lashes,
 even that was more attention than you earned.
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