the benign neglect wasn’t sticking. andy wasn’t budging. sephora was annoyed that she might actually have to outright insult the guy to get him to stop being a boyfriend. no matter what she did, he stuck with the nice guy persona. he said they could go slower, just hang out and watch a movie in the afternoon since he’d just lost his job. she finally wrote back a response about how it was nice that he contacted her, and she would write back later. she would let him assume there was something tragic going on in her life, something she had to appear for. as if her life was some constant drama and he got to be there on the offstage parts, when she had her real life. that was what he wanted to think. in reality, he was just another aspect for her to try and escape from.
sephora couldn’t escape into andy, so she needed to escape from him. she remembered sharing things with andy, but they didn’t become close, and every time she saw two people having a real conversation, she reminded herself that andy couldn’t do that. the last time he had sex with her she felt like she couldn’t breathe. he kept at it for so long she wondered how dare he ask for it again in the morning. and he wouldn’t leave! he insisted on sleeping over there even when she was clearly uncomfortable. he obviously thought that since he had been allowed to sleep there before, he had crossed some line, some precedent that nobody else crossed. he was just too green around the gills. he went out to binge drink at night. he was never without his group of friends. when his birthday came only two people showed up. he wasn’t the leader in the group. in his letter he said something about how all his friends told him to tell her how important she was in his life. this made her want to gag; she skimmed through the rest as quickly as possible.