I long to find anything but wishes in those plans of yours. Twisted sideways, legitimately, where is the heart that was beating by my side a few months ago? Was it making itself scarce, or should I use psyche terms here, like lack of empathy, or inability to do the right thing, or finds enjoyment in torture. It sure is the time for sadists to live right now. They seem to run things down in Washington, though not from above. I see through their tears, and their hands can’t hack away at the dirt and pack away the corpses fast enough. They won’t survive like this. Somebody much catch them. We’ve been taught that evil does not triumph, but in this world I live in now,  the only teacher we adults have is not humility but pure terrorism, bondage, and captivity. No wonder adults like to play-role the scenes out in their bedrooms to make themselves feel like they can handle the fierceness with some grace, or better yet some sass. But when your throat fails to find a syllable, it’s not your head that’s looking for words, it’s your feelings. Yes, the part that you ignore so much of the time, being a higher being and all that. Goodbye now, there will be no ending for you. Isn’t that what you always wanted? A story that suited your life? There is no delivery, no fairy tale and if you dare deliver what you aren’t getting by trying to sacrifice what losses you haven’t squandered into some kind of transformation- there will always be payment. Just go. This head manufacturers delusions and this sorrow breeds delusion. Just take the pink one, over and over, until your head spins and your belly expands. But when your heart explodes at the sight of trembling hands, try not to let it show. The passion has someplace to go. Focus on that. Even if it is the only thing in sight. It is one thing less than bad, including your inadequacy,

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